I stare at myself in the mirror. I try to find some sign that will lead me to recognize me. Quite often these days, I forget myself. I don’t think these tired, sad eyes belong to me. I remember my eyes, they used to be sparkling. And this fake smile and tired voice? Certainly not mine.
Yes, I had a good voice. I use to sing. The guitar placed at the corner of my room stares at me as well. Its broken string tells a different story. The rythm now is also lost.
I looked at mirror again. Holding the breath doesn’t hide the truth. I look like a bag. Shades of time clearly reflects. This was not me. I was an athlete. 4 Gold and a Silver. Rated as the Best. But its history now.
I live alone. Or I say, I have chosen to live alone. I usually come back from work at 7.30. Dinner at 8.30. Its hard to kill time after 9. I lay down and lights are off. I open the flap of my cellphone and browse through the address book. Read the name and close the flap. I have no one to call. Sometimes I wonder do I actually work in a VAS industry? Daily I make a voice portal LIVE, but my cellphone is nobody’s B-Party. No one calls me. I open the flap again and browse through the Inbox. Reading past messages make me feel good. But make me feel bad as well. Things were good a year ago. People are same but time has changed. Yes, shades of time certainly reflects. I’ve become a Miscellaneous.
I wish someone would just come and shake me real hard. So that all this bad stuff would drain away.
Always wished to write something happy on this side, yet every time it’s the agony.